The following journal records the methodical conditioning of a new subject- gs. Subject is resistant to any suggestions of sissy hypnosis…. I wonder how long that resistance will last…. I wonder ….. whether My hypno Domme skills will be able to entice him….entrance him…. entrap him …and finally enslave him? Subject has begun to listen to My mp3 recordings- including the Morning Mantra series….. More recently, subject has been listening to the mp3, Morning Mantra of Blankness which is My brainwashing file using Erotic ASMR + Voice- and the mp3 Addicted to Cock 1.
i am sorry i have not written for a week. i’ve been very busy here preparing for an assessment in my refereeing (it went well) so greatly limited my internet access (despite several slips). i’ve tranced to Your wonderful control most nights and am slowly coming to terms with how things are to be. i’m not sure that the control and focus needed for refereeing has greatly helped with my fall during the week, but it has been an interesting juxtaposition of ideas.
The reason i am writing now is just a short note to let You know how extremely hot mike’s post is. Should i have had any thoughts of long term resistance, and to be honest there have been some along with incredibly arousing thoughts of complete submission at inopportune moments, i am now utterly convinced that resistance will fail.
i’m toying with ideas that are kinda alien to me and appreciate your patience.
Waking, feeling wonderfully weak after an entire night of looped sessions. Randomised so i have no idea what played, but only waking once as My Sex Slave started but then no further memories.
i mentioned last night about wrestling with ideas that are alien to me and now I think it’s time to take that step. If i can’t convince myself i am ready for a live session with You then i have not given You enough control. I crave Your control and have to give You more and more.
Perhaps the only way to break that cycle is to do something that has never interested me. Sissy files have never interested me, sure i may have been willing to play dress up if asked in the past but that’s as far as that kink would ever go. Now though my control fetish is over-riding my mind. my weakness and longing to give away control, to have You rewrite my mind, the craving for Your instructions means i need to do this even though it is outside of my interests. i hope in doing so and training with more of Your commands that my fears over Live Control will disappear and i hope that i am pleasing You.
Dearest Lady Surrender,
Just had to give you a quick update. CEI washed over me with no effect. I had no desire to listen to it again at it knocked me out of listening and training at all for a while…
then my craving kicked back in. craving your control. craving a deepening addiction.
i realised i was spending more and more time reading your site. reading the journals and feeling jealous at the control you had over your toys. i realised i’d started getting horny in work, dreaming of submitting to the office girls but hearing your voice.
i decided to do go all the way. as i said before sissy didn’t interest me so i decided to purchase Addicted to Cock 1 figuring that another file that didn’t do anything for me would kick the habit for good.
oh my god.
i should have scanned the file. i should have been more careful. i should at least have ignored your suggestion to listen to Mantra of Blankness first.
Within a few minutes I was gone. I recognised the file switching over, but your whisper at the start of addicted took me straight back down. from there it’s a blur. I can remember getting incredibly aroused during the session and woke dripping, mouth watering. Just thinking of it has me back in the same state. hard horny aroused, mouth watering, mind craving cock, craving control. At the time I couldn’t control myself, I got out of bed, dropped to my knees and started stroking. i became more and more aroused. stroking, drooling, needing your control.
and then i orgasmed and guilt washed over me. i am sorry for that. i don’t know why it felt so wrong but all pleasure, all excitement washed away.
i knew then i had to delete the file. stop this, before it got out of hand. And i did. And I really meant it.
5 hours later and I’m on your site again. have realised the download key would still be active and have redownloaded and set up a playlist for the night. i don’t want to be a sissy, but it seems inevitable because you want it. and i know you don’t want it really, at least not in a personal way for me, but more you enjoy controlling and moulding toys as you see fit.
and that is amazing
i hope you enjoyed my email,